SUPER CAPTAIN POWER DRUNK (excerpt)

(Warning- This story contains explicit material)

 

SUPER CAPTAIN POWER DRUNK  (1)

 

 

Harold Knotts- Middle aged balding man with a bad comb over and a perpetual 5 o' clock shadow.  Disheveled clothing with a shirt that is almost always halfway untucked.  He has a paunch and an overcoat with several holes in it.  Every now and then a fly buzzes around him.

 

Page 1-

 

1st Panel- This panel is larger than the other two.  Harry's face, tongue slightly lolling out, with drooping, heavy eyes and hair in disarray.  Caption- "Behold,"

 

2nd Panel- Harry is walking toward the reader.  This is a torso shot of Harry, stumbling horribly.   Bottle of liquor in his left hand, cigarette in his right.  Caption: "ladies and gentlemen,"

 

3rd Panel- You can now see Harry is in a back alley and he's stumbling toward the wall of a building.  He is walking away from the reader.  Caption- "our hero."

 

Page 2-

 

1st Panel- Harry is leaning up against a wall in the middle of an alleyway.  Caption- "With courage and conviction as steady as the tides, he marches forth..."

 

2nd Panel- Harry stumbles off the wall, trying to walk.  Caption- "Towards fate.  Towards destiny.  His aesthetic asking for, nay, demanding a wide birth."

 

3rd Panel- Harry balances himself on a dumpster with an outstretched hand.  Caption-  "For our hero is on a mission.  His task before him grave and irrefutable."

 

4th Panel- Close-up of Harry, looking like shit.  His cheeks are puffing out and there are spurts of juice coming out between his pursed lips.  Caption- "Like all men great, he must temper himself, lest suffer the dire consequences of his hubris.  Like all men great, he must come to terms..."

 

Page 3-

 

1st Panel- Harry is projectile vomiting onto the ground, which is being blown apart, revealing a sewer beneath the scattering debris.  Caption- "...with the path he's chosen."

 

Page 4-

 

1st Panel- A woman with an outfit looking like she works in a diner is sitting with her legs spread in the back of a taxi cab.  She is pregnant and has a lit cigarette in her right hand.  Caption-  "But how trite of me, beginning a story where it will immediately gain attention.  Let us instead begin like David Copperfield.  Harry was born, like all sentient beings."

 

Woman- I'm gonna shit this beast out, and then I'm gonna kill you all!"

 

2nd Panel- A kid is looking up with tearing eyes at the reader.  Caption- "And like the lucky ones, he grew up."

 

Off Panel-  "Yeah.  Love.  Right.  You know what?  Sometimes I wonder:  If only I'd fucked your mom in the ass..."

 

3rd Panel-  A young Harry is sitting across from a semi-attractive woman.  Caption- "Like a few, he went to college..."

 

Woman-  "So what's your major?"

 

4th Panel-  Front shot of Harry.  Caption- "...and like a few of the few, for no discernable reason."

 

Harry- "English."

 

Woman- "Oh...oh."

 

5th Panel-  Harry is sitting alone, looking at the label of his beer.  Caption- "So, he decided to follow in the path laid out for him.  A path saturated in divine providence.  For the Lord doth work in mysterious ways..."

 

Harry- "At least you'll always be there for me..."

 

Television (in the background)- "...yet another victory for Squirrel Knife, the newest member of the superhero team is The Awesome Squad, who have recently thwarted the nefarious plans of Signor Discontent, and ushered in another few days of...um...content..."

 

Page 5-

 

1st Panel-  Harry is taking another swig of his beer.  The television is behind him and over his shoulder.  Caption- "And in Harry's case, the mystery couldn't be thicker..."

 

Television- "Wait!  I've just been given something...Apparently the Awesome Squad has called in a press conference to explain the events that have taken place today."

 

2nd Panel-  Harry has turned around with an annoyed look on his face and is watching the television.

 

Harry- "Goddamn capes..."

 

3rd Panel-  Harry is looking at the bartender.

 

Harry- "No offense, Johnny."

 

4th Panel- Johnny, the bartender, is washing a glass.

 

Tom- "I never wore a cape, Harry.  You know that."

 

5th Panel-  Harry is looking at his beer.

 

Harry-Yeah...Sorry."

 

6th Panel- Tom is putting the glass away.

 

Tom- "You apologize too much, Harry."

 

7th Panel- Harry is looking at the television.  This is a shot from behind him.  There is a large press conference going on, with superheroes that all have subtle advertisements on them.  That's right.  They're sponsored.

 

Harry- "Yeah...Sorry."

 

Television- "Thank you all for coming today..."

 

Page 6-

 

1st Panel- Close up of the television.  There are several members of the Awesome Squad standing behind a bunch of microphones.