CUPID PART 7: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE (excerpt-part 1of 5)

CUPID PART 7: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE 

 

 

INT. BAR- NIGHT (GOATS)

 

CUPID, mid 20's, average frame/build, jeans, black shirt, leather jacket, and GAY CUPID, mid 20's and bridging the gap between normal looking and flamboyant, sit at a booth in the back of a dark bar.

 

The bar, speckled with patrons, has a thin veil of eclectic pretension.  Cupid drinks stout, Gay Cupid drinks martinis.  Cupid puts out a cigarette.

 

CHARLIE BARROW, a semi-muscular man in his mid 20's wearing black slacks and a button up shirt, very well groomed and KARA CARLISLE, very thin and pretty, enter the bar.

 

 

CUPID

 

Time to fill the quota...

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Them?

 

 

CUPID

 

No fuckin' way.  She's lookin' to find someone decent to look past how shallow she is and he can't keep his dick in his pants.

 

 

GAY CUPID

(smiling)

 

Tragic.

 

 

CUPID

(shrugging)

 

Eh.  She knows better.

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

And he can't keep his dick in his pants?

 

 

CUPID

 

He'd never go to your side.  Trust me.  For that guy?  There's not enough time in the day.

 

 

GAY CUPID

(disheartened)

 

Tragic.

 

 

Gay Cupid points to a couple sitting at the bar.

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Those two?

 

 

CUPID

 

Both twice divorced.  They're gonna settle for what they can get.  They'll be happy enough.

 

 

CUPID

(smiling and point to another couple)

 

What about them?

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Shiit, girl!  I give it 6 months before he realizes.

 

 

CUPID

 

Thought so.  (chuckling) C'est la vie.

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Aw, c'mon.  Doesn't that make your life easier?

 

 

CUPID

 

Not for the next six months...

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Well, couldn't you just give it to a newbie?  Help break 'em in?

 

 

CUPID

 

Eh.  I need all the work I can get.  Next thing you know, the Big Guy's downsizing and if I don't get that quota, what's gonna happen?

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Downsizing?  Cupids?

 

 

CUPID

 

It's the beginning of a global recession, brother.  Times are tight.  Can't ask a girl out if you're broke, and free love don't often come cheap.  So we lose priority.  You feel me?  Do you know what happens when a Cupid's fired?

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

I never thought about it...

 

 

CUPID

 

Never thought you'd have to.  Me neither, probably.  Still, I don't know any more than you do.

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Downsized?  To what, Bromance Cupid?

 

 

CUPID

 

I suppose you can't get too stressed about it.  Won't do you any good.  Just keep you're head down, and maybe...

 

Cupid looks intently at that the door.

 

 

CUPID

 

Maybe if I bag a trophy love.  And it looks...

 

 

OWEN THACKER, 5'9" and slightly overweight, with jeans and a T-shirt with a band on it and MARGO GIOVANNI, a 5'6" with rounded features, slightly pudgy, black hair with blue streaks and wearing jeans and a black top, walk into the bar.  Cupid looks at them warily.

 

 

CUPID

 

...like I just might have to...

 

 

Gay Cupid notices the couple.  JENNIFER BLALOCK, 5'4", librarian style attractiveness, with tinges of bohemia holding fast to a professional veneer, walks into the bar behind Owen and Margo.

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

Why do you say that?

 

Cupid gestures to the couple without looking away.

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

What?  Are they even together?

 

 

CUPID

 

Oh yeah.  Those two are soul mates.  I can feel it.

 

 

GAY CUPID

 

So they won't need your help?

 

 

CUPID

 

No...

 

 

Pan to Owen and Margo, with Jennifer in the background, looking around the bar for Charlie.

 

 

CUPID (V.O.)

 

Those two are gonna need my full attention. 

 

 

OWEN

 

Where the fuck is that silly bastard?

 

 

MARGO

 

Probably balls deep by now?  That man blows through women like a bullet through Kleenex.

 

 

OWEN

(turning to Jennifer)

 

Speaking of Kleenex, you feeling better?

 

Jennifer looks at Owen.

 

 

JENNIFER

 

I'm starting to.

 

 

MARGO

 

Good, cause I found Charlie.

 

 

Owen and Margo walk towards Charlie, while Jennifer lags behind for a second.  Owen and Margo sit across from Charlie and Kara while Jennifer sits at the end of the table.  Kara stares about vacantly.

 

 

CHARLIE

 

Bout time, ya jerk!  We've been her for thirty minutes!

 

 

KARA

 

We just got here, though... 

 

 

CHARLIE

(squinting)

 

Twenty minutes?

 

 

OWEN

 

You're a dick.

 

 

KARA

 

Hm?

 

 

OWEN

 

I was just calling him a dick.

 

 

KARA

 

Well, that's not very nice.

 

 

CHARLIE

(smiling)

 

 

CHARLIE

 

It's okay, darlin'.  That's how we talk to each other.  Right, ya fuckin' scumbag?

 

 

OWEN

 

You ordered yet, asshole?

 

 

CHARLIE

 

Not yet.  I figured we'd start off with Irish Car Bombs.  You know, (Irish accent) for courage!

 

 

MARGO

 

Sublte, Charlie.  How much do you weigh, Kara?

 

 

KARA

 

110 last I checked.

 

 

MARGO

(incredulous)

 

Soaking wet, maybe.

 

 

KARA

(gesturing to Charlie)

 

No.  I just met him.

 

 

MARGO

(surprised)

 

What?

 

 

CHARLIE

 

Kara Just finished a walk for peace protest up in D.C..

 

 

OWEN

 

Oh yeah?  How long was it?

 

 

KARA

 

I don't know.  I kept getting lost and now I'm just glad I made it back.

 

 

Owen and Margo look at each other.

 

 

OWEN

 

Yeah...We're glad you made it...

 

 

MARGO

 

So did it work?

 

 

(continued in part 2)